About the Author

In 2010, I lost my beloved uncle to pancreatic cancer. On the day of his funeral, I was in so much emotional pain that my stomach hurt and I felt dizzy. I noticed though, that while he was being eulogized by his brother, I felt a few moments of peace, and that I even laughed, remembering how much he loved food, especially root beer floats and sweet and sour soup. It was important on that day that we remembered him in his best moments, and the eulogy was filled with important memories.

In my home, I have a place where I keep photographs of my loved ones who have died. I light candles for them, and often say good morning and good night to them as part of my routine when I open or close the curtains. It’s important to keep the memory of the people we’ve loved and lost in our everyday lives, and to acknowledge that while our relationships with those we’ve lost have changed, they still exist and will continue to evolve. The comfort that comes with that realization often begins with the closure that a thoughtful eulogy provides.

It troubled me then, how more and more I was hearing from colleagues and friends who were asked to give a eulogy and turned the opportunity down, or how, tragically, nobody gave a eulogy for a loved one at all because “nobody knew how to do it.” I also took note of how often I’d heard about how a couple’s vows were mismatched at a wedding (one kept it brief and light, the other was much more serious, and thorough) or about how a toast at a retirement party was too brief, awkwardly delivered, or was “tone deaf.” 

Every beloved person who has died deserves to have their life remembered and honored, and their loved ones should have the experience of reminiscing, crying, and sometimes even laughing together as they navigate loss. No two couples are alike, so every couple that is making a commitment should have the experience of saying exactly what they mean and what they are promising. Siblings should have fun toasting a bride or groom on a wedding day, and a family matriarch should hear meaningful, important words on her 80^th birthday. The importance of the right words during major life events and rites of passage cannot be understated.

I’ve spent my life as a poet putting feelings into words and trying my best to create order among the disorder of living. My time as an editor has been spent working under strict deadlines, and my career as a teacher has involved coaching, supporting, and listening with compassion to people who need me. What’s more, I’ve always appreciated a good story, and been moved by the many ways people love each other. This is what gives me energy and strength for each new person I meet during some of the best and worst times of their lives.

I created this platform to reach a wider audience than my own friends and loved ones, and to offer my help and expertise. I’m looking forward to meeting you!